AIO? Xmas gift from bf's parents

[u/brains_rcool]

For context, I've been in a serious relationship with this person for 7 years, and we own a home together. His parents gifted me this shirt for Christmas and it made me sad. They said they thought I would think it's funny but I definitely didn't. I also wouldn't consider myself a train wreck in any capacity... I just graduated from college this year, I work a full-time job, and I own a home. AIO?

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[u/Compuwiz85]

It's a joke. Unclench your sphincter.

[u/rocklionheart]

I feel like if they really thought you were a train wreck they wouldn’t give you the shirt.

[u/cactusgirl69420]

YOR. If you have your shit together (which it sounds like you do) this is hilarious. It’s only offensive if it’s true. I’d personally love being gifted this but also I’m very confident that I have my shit together so this would be a really funny joke.

[u/That_Brother5246]

Yes

[u/Fire-Haus]

Do you know they love you? This is the important context.

[u/Competitive-Jury3713]

No.

[u/kvothe000]

Depends on your actual reaction. If your only reaction is to be a little upset over a poor joke…NOR.

If you’re demanding an apology or some shit… then yeah, YOR.

What are you actually doing? Of course you aren’t overreacting to feel your feelings. We only weigh in on what your actions were afterwards.

[u/azul360]

This screams funny if you bought it for yourself or if you friend did as a joke that you would both get but from a partner's parent? OOF.

[u/farmsfarts]

Do you get really blackout drunk on occasion?

[u/Elegant_Arm_871 → u/farmsfarts]

Haha. I was going to say this. I know the person in my family I would give this to for that same reason. Lol

[u/I_am_the_pup]

God forbid someone doesn’t find something funny lol I’d only gift this to someone who I am extremely close with and would 100% know they’d be fine with. Hell, I’d wear it. But someone not being okay with self deprecating humor doesn’t automatically make them “a stick in the mud”. I don’t care if it was them possibly being “sarcastic”, I think a good chunk of y’all are being unnecessarily harsh to this person. Someone not liking something is not necessarily an automatic overreaction. I’d say it’s how they reacted because they don’t like something that matters. If they were, as the kids say, screaming crying, throwing up over it and screaming profanities at the in laws then yeah, that’s overreacting. If they were calm about it while expressing that this hurt their feelings, then no I wouldn’t call this an overreaction. I don’t have enough information to give my true opinion, but I will give a NOR based on what’s given so far.

[u/idontuseredditsoplea → u/I_am_the_pup]

Is it still self deprecating humor when you're not joking about yourself?

[u/longlivenewsomflesh]

Depends on context and relationship I think. Could it be a nasty veiled insult? Maybe. But it could also just be boomers doing boomer stuff and maybe it's not 'personal' in their view. Sounds like you just need to talk it out probably.

[u/Born_Relief1139 → u/longlivenewsomflesh]

I agree. Depends on relationship.

[u/Trollimperator]

Its only offensive if they are right.

[u/justmedoinme420]

funny shirt, bad gift

[u/Fizzlesmirk]

Overreacting is the wrong word here. NOR but with only present context, it’s reasonable to assume that they’re trying to be “relatable” and it didn’t land. It’s the thought that counts, so I’d tell them you appreciate the thought, but not the execution! Honest communication is the best medicine.

[u/Lepelotonfromager]

YOR

It's just a funny shirt, chill.

[u/Informal_Victory6134]

Mega funny maybe don’t take yourself so seriously but if it upsets you fuckin burn it and move on

[u/Terrible-pedigree]

I’d hate this. NOR

[u/Avi_Cat]

Unless this humor is your vibe, like myself, it's a terrible gift. I wear, and would wear, this kind of stuff. It definitely sounds like a poorly thought of gift which is also a not so subtle jab at you.

[u/def_not_a_fetish_alt]

YOR. They're trying to be funny and bond with you. It's just their humor just doesn't mesh with yours. All you need is a heart to heart and tell them how you feel about that and they'll probably understand.

[u/Gottqla74]

I would have removed my shirt right there, proudly put it on, and said YES!! Choo choo mother fkrs! Thank you!! Thank you!! This is awesome. They would be left utterly speechless and never do it again. But for real, I want this shirt!! Lol

[u/anaesthete]

toot toot

[u/Spare_Combination_55]

That shirt funny as hell

[u/Seraphina_V9]

I feel like what is missing from this post is that it’s not about your material wealth/assets you own it’s about you as a person, but even then they probably don’t actually think of you that way. Laughing at people’s “shortcomings” (not saying you did anything OP) makes for decent humor most of the time.

[u/Resident-Fennel57]

It’s giving passive aggressive asshole vibes disguised as “humor”.

[u/ChestnutMareGrazing → u/Resident-Fennel57]

That shit is the worst. "What, can't you take a joke?"

[u/Resident-Fennel57 → u/ChestnutMareGrazing]

It would be so hard to resist the temptation to retaliate with an equally insulting t-shirt for the next gift giving session.

[u/goldsheep29]

I would of sarcastically laughed this off but we need more context here. INFO

Do they see you happily as a future daughter in law? Are they pushing your son for proposal? Do they make back handed comments or spend quality time with you? They might of been joking and thought they could do something silly. Also I will say it looks like a cheap shirt you cam buy from Spencer's so if they are low income I would definitely laugh this one off. If they're sitting on a pile of money though I'd be wondering why I didn't get a house warming gift like a kettle or pillow lol. Did you even mention to them what types of things you need or want as gifts? I go out daily with my MiL so this Christmas was a lovely surprise that she listened to things I wanted while we were out a few months ago. 

[u/Born_Relief1139 → u/goldsheep29]

Best answer here

[u/Busy-Kaleidoscope-87]

7 years, this is hilarious

[u/wrenagade419]

NOR Ok no I understand this.

So I act really dumb for laughs but I’m really good at it, but I’m not actually dumb, quite the opposite, this is the only time you’ll catch me saying that.

But if someone else acts like I’m actually dumb … well fuck you, you don’t get to call me dumb, or a train wreck, you know it just a sliver of my humanity while you’ve revealed so much more about yourself.

Also his parents are trying to stay relevant with that shirt, I think the train wreck joke just made its last stop and it was this shirt

I understand you being upset, oh man do I get that on a cellular level, but I do t think that the parent’s understood that or if it even registered that it could possibly be one of the most irritating things, to assume you know someone that well.

We haven’t reached friendly insults yet…. You’re still being vetted

[u/BoysenberryJellyfish]

Can I have it??? YOR You have it all together, this was just a joke and it's awesome

[u/waster1993]

Advertisement.

[u/Stormtyrant]

Yes

[u/wallweasels]

As you have provided zero context as to whether or not they like you it is my default assumption that they bought a funny shirt and thought it would be fun to give to you.

You are almost certainly overthinking this and this feels like a bugbear of yours more than their malintent.

[u/HndWrmdSausage]

Yor its just a shirt.

[u/justabiscuit99]

Unless there’s other reasons that make you think they dislike you I would actually say it’s indicative they think highly of you, Unless someone is mean spirited they aren’t gonna give this to someone who they actually think is a train wreck, it’s only funny when you give it to someone who’s life isn’t obviously a mess.

[u/NectarineCapital3244]

I can throw it out if you want just ship it to me and I’ll take care of it

[u/no2rdifferent]

I have never worn tshirts (63), but I've thrown out a few of my "friends" disgustingly misogynistic tshirts. I don't advertise for anyone, either, no brands, bands, or sayings.

If I received this "gift," I'd gather enough family around to watch me throw it in the bin and listen to me lecture on ingrained misogyny. Then, I would go on a misandrist rant to show how it's harmful and not a joke.

[u/Turbulent-Thing9889 → u/no2rdifferent]

Listen I hate misogyny with a burning passion but wtf?? This is not misogyny. It would be if it said something like “women are train wrecks” but it doesn’t say that.

[u/joe-clark → u/no2rdifferent]

I was going to make the "you must be fun at parties" joke but it doesn't really work when you already described in detail exactly why you're miserable to have at parties.

[u/CaptDingus420 → u/no2rdifferent]

And then everyone clapped

[u/Shockmazta31 → u/no2rdifferent]

You need a hobby.

[u/no2rdifferent → u/Shockmazta31]

Since we are giving advice, you need to look at your real feelings for real women. I have plenty of what is called hobbies today. One of them is spreading the word about my misandrist beliefs. I was a professor for 30+ years, so I know what I'm talking about. As a woman, you should not be liking misogynistic t-shirts unless you are a woman who hates herself.

[u/onegiantleap4mankind]

You’re overreacting. That’s a hilarious shirt.

[u/Apprehensive_Put_321 → u/onegiantleap4mankind]

Absolutely every woman in my family would rock this shirt including my grandma 

[u/Seraphina_V9 → u/Apprehensive_Put_321]

Everyone I know would wear that

[u/Smut_Sluttt]

Its a shirt yall fr right now? YOR 😮‍💨

[u/myaora]

If it's getting to you this much, you might be a train wreck.

[u/Priests_daughter]

I’m think OP too sensitive and took it too serious. Otherwise this t-shirt looks really cool and funny! 😄

[u/SaltKick2 → u/Priests_daughter]

Agreed, considering

I also wouldn't consider myself a train wreck in any capacity

Sounds like the parents don't either, and this is a joke with how much you are NOT a train wreck

If OP was currently in a bad situation or considered themself a trainwreck, yeah it would be in bad taste

[u/dandadone_with_life]

need more info tbh

[u/p-skow → u/dandadone_with_life]

She's a trainwreck, so they got her this shirt.

[u/dandadone_with_life → u/p-skow]

need to know if the parents have a history of being assholes towards her or if this is just boomer humor being misinterpreted as malice

[u/DisastrousRooster400]

That shits hilarious. You rode that train all the way to Reddit tooot toot!

[u/Direct_Turn_1484]

MOR - For some it might be funny, they might also be assholes so it depends on other aspects of your relationship with them.

[u/MaddysinLeigh]

Info- are they “traditional?” If they are they may see you as a train wreck for not being married yet and not cooking everyday.

[u/GlazDav]

It’s wild that people come to Reddit to ask how they should feel for something like this lol.

[u/AntOk4073]

YOR

It's a shirt.

[u/Downtown_Bag_7491]

Depends on the person. People make self deprecating jokes constantly so if that's your relationship it makes sense. Also if you have all that stuff, you're clearly NOT a train wreck so seems to me this was definitely meant as a funny joke and not an actual representation of you to them. I wouldn't say either you are in the wrong, just seems like a miscommunication

[u/Althea0331]

A true train wreck never toots.

[u/Stock_Patience723]

Boomer humor 

[u/Fordor_of_Chevy → u/Stock_Patience723]

Boomer here and I gotta disagree. This is not funny, at least not as a gift. This is a shirt one buys for themselves to be self deprecating and should never ever be given as a gift.

[u/Ryallin]

I’d say 50/50 but YOR, it’s a novelty shirt but they also probably don’t know the pressure and standards you have on yourself with how much you’ve done and have to maintain. Hanlon’s razor y’know

[u/Gay-_-Jesus]

Yor, this shirt is awesome

[u/DeanOfClownCollege]

Mr. Toots

[u/whereubeenloka]

YOR

[u/OscarGaleElitzer]

I think this is just something to talk over. Simply tell them it made you upset and why. They should be able to take it well and avoid getting these kinds of gag gifts in the future. This is a communication thing you know?

[u/Rebel_Taro]

As someone who has a MIL who likes to make subtle and not-so-subtle digs at both her children and in-laws, here's what you do: say, "oh, great shirt! Thank you!" and only ever wear it around them (if you don't like it). Or, just get rid of the damn thing and ignore the insult, whether it was intended or not. We've been married for 17yrs, and my MIL tried so hard the first few years to always make snide remarks or side comments to me, give me insult gifts... when I would pretend not to notice the insult, it drove her nuts! That made two things happen: 1) She eventually stopped with her little drama b/c I wasn't playing along and it wasn't fun for her. 2) It was SUPER entertaining for me to pretend I had no idea she was trying to insult me and watch her get more and more irritated 😂 We actually have a pretty good relationship now. It just took being mature enough to move on from petty behavior.

[u/DreamCrusher914 → u/Rebel_Taro]

I absolutely take “jokes” 100% seriously, sort of like Drax on The Guardians of the Galaxy. It forces the person making the joke to explain the joke, which automatically deflates their sense of accomplishment. “I’m a train wreck, oh my gosh, am I really? Do you really think that?! What am I doing to earn that title?!”

[u/sun4moon → u/Rebel_Taro]

It’s nice that yours is trainable. Mine is to oblivious.

[u/Rebel_Taro → u/sun4moon]

I just took all the fun out of her meddling. Unfortunately, she still likes to do this to her own daughters.

[u/sun4moon → u/Rebel_Taro]

That’s sad. I used to think mine’s behaviour was weaponized incompetence but now I sincerely believe it’s just the incompetence, no malicious intent. That’s why it’s untrainable.

[u/DngsAndDrgs]

Without any context other than, it was a gift, this seems harmless and like your overreacting to someone essentially just teasing you.

It's a gag t-shirt, not a handwritten letter defaming you. Going off your post, you haven't spoken to anyone about it and are just assuming it was ill-intentioned. If you're such a successful adult then it should be easy for you to have a conversation with the parents of the person you've been dating for almost a decade.

YOR

[u/SugarBoatsOnWater → u/DngsAndDrgs]

What's with the "if you're such a successful adult" line? Maybe you didn't mean it but it sounds condescending.

[u/Tiredmommy-910]

Regift it back to them next year saying, "based on your behavior this year I think this fits you better than me".

[u/Fragrant-Candle-91]

If it’s not something you joke about with people it’s kinda rude. That being said I’ll happily take it off your hands

[u/Tripsmom9]

Yikes

[u/Hello_Fly_2741]

Are you doing better than your bf by any chance?

Honestly, a man’s parents giving that to their son’s female partner doesn’t seem COMPLETELY devoid of malintent. They sound threatened that you’re doing well. I think the normal thing to do if you had one brain cell of social awareness would have been to gift something celebratory in honor of your college graduation.

NOR

[u/KingSizedCroaker]

YOR. It’s a gag shirt that you don’t find funny. Making it more than that (unless you’ve left info out) just makes you look insecure.

[u/LiteraryOlive]

I wouldn’t give this to anybody and I wouldn’t want to receive it either.

[u/ol0pl0x]

YOR

[u/deadguyinthere]

Very stupid shirt yes but I don’t think they’re necessarily calling YOU a trainwreck. This is just a type of shirt that was popular in the early 2000s.

[u/PutridJuggernaut2999]

i think you need to assess the intentions behind the gift. is this their type of humor? are you close to them? have they behaved in a way before to make you feel like this was passive aggressive? obviously, you’re allowed to feel hurt. even if their intentions weren’t to harm, you still feel wronged.

however, you need to consider the intentions before letting this affect your relationship with them. you should communicate your thoughts.

[u/Ryn_AroundTheRoses]

Depends on context. If they have a long-term habit of belittling you, then this shirt sucks and I'd have their faces superimposed on the woman (MIL's face) and the train (FIL's face). If it's some kind of inside joke or this just reflects their typical humor, then I wouldn't read anything into it

[u/castlite]

That is some seriously shady shit.

People who try to destroy people on Christmas are true assholes.

[u/Born_Ad8420 → u/[deleted]]

I'm Gen X and while I take that point, I'm careful about who I share this type of humor with. I have some friends who would love this, and others who would find it very hurtful. Part of comedy is knowing your audience, and I would generally err on the side of caution if I was unsure.

[u/Anon_urmom_305 → u/[deleted]]

"Self" deprecating humor refers to mocking one's self.

"Little one"? Are you intentionally speaking with condescension or are you as socially callous as the gift givers?

I also retired early...at 50. As if it's relevant.

[u/spriteceo → u/[deleted]]

Little one is fuckin crazy

[u/HammerOn57 → u/[deleted]]

Here it is, the most condescending post on reddit today. Congratulations.

[u/DrMamaBear → u/HammerOn57]

[u/JadeSelket]

MOR - I’d personally laugh and think it’s hilarious, and you might be overthinking it a bit. But if it makes you upset, you’re not wrong in your feelings either.

[u/Lonely-Ad4209]

Context needed

[u/TheSilentKirb → u/Lonely-Ad4209]

Caption

[u/nando1111]

NOR… just kidding. Toot Toot

[u/SkirtNo5341 → u/nando1111]

[u/GingerrJinx → u/nando1111]

[u/mk_ultra42]

If you’ve always had a good relationship with them I’d say YOR. They thought it was funny. If they really thought you were a train wreck, would they have bought you the shirt and laughed about it? I feel like younger folks these days take everything so seriously.

[u/AzureAD → u/mk_ultra42]

Right, I would have laughed generously as a recipient. It’s nice to have one’s leg pulled once in a while.

OP might be overly sensitive and this would put off some generally fun people from being around her…

[u/CutieBaBootyWooty → u/AzureAD]

I would have put that shirt on right over my other shirt while opening presents!

[u/Grant1128]

NOR or MOR - I would have to be comfortable with someone and how they receive playful roasts. If they've established this kind of rapport with you where y'all razz each other a bit, then I can see it being a fun gift. Now, I'm guessing since you are a bit frustrated with this gift that's not how you guys are. So it then leads me to kinda be passive aggressive at worst to a poorly-received joke at best. But even for best-case scenario, it still would seem risky and insensitive if you don't roast each other.

TLDY from what we see here, it sounds like that was kinda not the play and maybe ask your partner about it.

[u/DConstructed]

What did they give everyone else?

Do they have a pattern of giving tacky gifts in general?

The gift isn’t great but if they do that kind of garbage affectionately among themselves it’s not an insult.

[u/legocitiez → u/DConstructed]

This. If they gave everyone joke gifts then this is hilarious.

[u/DConstructed → u/legocitiez]

Yeah. If that’s the case it’s the norm. I do know people who give each other prank/funny gifts.

But if that’s not the norm among themselves it’s unkind. I’ve seen the other situation too. And it definitely wasn’t about what people could afford either.

[u/VastFeeling6557]

You can probably talk to them about it, worst case its good to make sure they know it didn't feel great, and it's also possible they truly meant it in an affectionate way. If they did, then no hard feelings, just make sure they understand why you didn't appreciate it. If they do think you're a train wreck and were trying to send a message, then that's definitely something to talk about, and maybe involve your bf in that? I know it can be hard to have that kind of conversation with someone when it's about their parents, but if you think there's a lack of respect here then he should definitely know about it.

If i had to guess, I'd say they were just trying to be funny and missed some social cues. This seems like something my grandma would have gotten my mom without any malice behind it. But you know these people a lot better than i do.

[u/MostlyOkPotato]

MOR

"i’m not a train wreck" (immediately and very identifiably posts a complaint about her boyfriend and his parents on Reddit)

[u/MzMychorrhizal]

NOR. While this is a shirt I would proudly buy and wear, I would NOT be pleased if it was given to me by my partner's parents, especially after achieving a milestone like graduating college. They may not have meant it that way, but it FEELS like a put-down, which matters.

[u/Lemmytellusomething]

I think if they actually viewed you as a train wreck, which you aren't, they wouldn't have gotten you a funny shirt saying that you are.

Ask Santa for a sense of humor next time 😉

[u/MrSpicyPotato]

FWIW, I am a millennial and think this shirt is very funny and would buy it for myself and would also very happily accept it from many of my friends/partner as a gift. However, if my in-laws bought it for me, I would be piiiiiiiissed. Like beyond pissed. It’s all about the context of the relationship. NOR.

[u/Cuhleenah]

I loved the shirt when I first saw the post but then saw that it said it was from your inlaws and I immediately cringed. It totally depends on your relationship with them but if I got this from my in-laws I would be confused. A gift from friends, or even my husband I would find it hilarious tho.

[u/wifefuu]

Its a joke, if its a joke in bad taste or you have beef with the parents just move on, but seeing how you posted this seems like your not the kind of person thats capable of that

[u/nixxavia]

These comments are so cruel. No, your parents-in-law probably didn’t mean to offend you, but being indirectly told that they view you as a mess is a totally valid reason to feel offended. You didn’t blow up, make a scene or anything. But it’s okay to feel sad that your boyfriend’s parents view you negatively.

[u/livadeth]

NOR, it’s not something you’d normally give as a gift. This shirt you would buy for yourself as a joke to wear around good friends and family.

[u/Nalzzy]

Where is OP we need answers

[u/Ok_Dragonfruit_9983]

Toot tooot

[u/PeetoMal]

The fact that this offended you means that you're actually a train wreck, sorry to break it to you.

[u/FlishFlashman → u/PeetoMal]

How do you figure?

[u/Accomplished-Lie9518 → u/PeetoMal]

Well no? The idea that she thinks she is doing well,which she is and her BFs parents don’t. That would be pretty disheartening 

[u/thumbsucker-2 → u/Accomplished-Lie9518]

I dunno she’s taking a tshirt a little too seriously in my opinion

[u/wonderwhywoman8]

What's your hair color? I bet it's not natural...

[u/LadyEsinni → u/wonderwhywoman8]

My hair is purple, and I would find this hilarious if I got it as a gift. Stereotypes like this are ridiculous.

[u/TheKattsMeow]

NOR- this is some annoying passive aggressive bs that deserves to be called out publicly.

[u/whiningneverchanges → u/TheKattsMeow]

You have no information about the in laws whatsoever, so this is already a wild as fuck take

Here's a possible scenario:

"Hey tshirt selling person, I am looking to buy tshirt for someone in their twenties. Have you any suggestions."

"Yes! self-deprecating humor is always in!"

You: "We NeEd To PubLicly SHaMe TheSe PIecEs Of SHiT"

LMAO

[u/CallMeBoxman → u/whiningneverchanges]

Average redditor answer tho. Had no information thinks every scenario is done in malice

[u/whiningneverchanges → u/CallMeBoxman]

am i crazy or is this kind of immediate negativity a new social media phenomenon?

I know reddit has always been "leave her and workout" over trivial things. But I've noticed this absolute negativity has recently crept up, especially on tiktok.

[u/spaceguitar]

It’s entirely contextual.

Do you have a good relationship with the in laws? Are they normally snarky, or undermine your achievements? Are they passive aggressive in general? Have they been singling you out among family members?

If your relationship isn’t great, then clearly your reaction is understandable.

But if it’s an otherwise good relationship? Then yeah, overreacting. As an elder millennial, I think it’s hilarious!

[u/Anteater_Able → u/spaceguitar]

Buy a t-shirt in response for them making fun of old people.

[u/Worldly_Ocelot_3386]

It was definitely insensitive of them and shows poor judgment, but I'm guessing it wasn't intentional. Some people just find self-deprecating stuff like this hilarious and don't consider that others may not.

My mom sent me a kid's book called My Auntie Is Bonkers (or something like it) and said that my nephew would love it because it looks like the book is about me. The book seems to have a crazy, kooky aunt character who always does things oddly for no reason. I asked my mom if she thought I was Bonkers and what Bonkers meant to her. (To me it doesn't sound like a kind or honest way to describe me at all.) She instantly saw my point and agreed I wasn't Bonkers. I don't know why she got so carried away with her excitement of how funny I would find a book that basically calls me a kooky loon.

[u/Ok-Yak3147]

YOR I love that, its hilarious 😂 I'd wear it proudly, and im not a train wreck

[u/MountainConcern7397]

i’m gonna take a crack and say NOR. is this the only thing they got you? weird present for being in the family 7 years. and you just graduated this year? they couldn’t do something for that?

[u/OddBodybuilder95]

Personally Id love that shirt. But then again Im a fan of self depreciating humor.

[u/tangos974]

Hope the hubs can clarify their intentions? If they're trying to pass a message in any way shape or form, then NOR, obviously.

I'll add that you'll see what your partner is really made of in how they react to this situation. Your in-laws at the very least hurt your feelings, if not malevolently, at least very clumsily.

In any case, you are valid in your emotions, that IS a weird gift to give to someone you don't know that well. So even then, NOR.

[u/QueenAlpaca]

OR. I’d high-key buy that shirt for myself and I’m a college educated, working full-time home owner lmao.

[u/chocoeatstacos]

YOR unless your bfs' parents cleary don't like you and have always disapproved of your relationship with him. If not, that's a hilarious fuckin shirt and I'd wear the shit out of it.

[u/CheetahNo9349]

YOR

[u/DraperPenPals]

YOR and probably looking for a fight

[u/Itchy-Membership-309]

YOR it’s a shirt.

[u/Dangerous-Banana-223]

Isn’t the concept here that it is funny because it is so obviously not true?

[u/ADreamingDonkey]

YOR. It’s just a joke shirt in mom humor. It’s not that serious at all.

[u/thelivesunderneath]

YOR although it does depend slightly what your relationship with his parents is like and what their sense of humour is. This just reads as badly judged millennial humour to me tbh

[u/Doodle_Noodle404]

YOR, it'a just a funny shirt

[u/-UpsetNewt-]

YOR. Fucking Redditors man. If I got a shirt that said everyone’s favorite goofy goober or something I wouldn’t immediately assume the person who gave it to me is trying to call me a goofy goober. I would think it’s a lighthearted joke that they might’ve thought was funny and saw for 10$ on sale. It’s not like they were thinking “hmm she’s a fucking trainwreck, let’s get her a shirt that says ‘I’m a trainwreck’”. Not everyone likes self deprecating humor.

[u/SkirtNo5341 → u/-UpsetNewt-]

It takes a certain level of confidence in yourself to be okay with self deprecating humor and it's obvious OP does not have that. It's a funny shirt, I'm currently looking for one online lol

[u/Sycamore72]

NOR unless you have a drinking problem you’re not acknowledging.

[u/Largeshmarge]

💣 Picture of fun T-Shirt 💣

[u/Upstairs_Day_6496]

I’d wear it bc I am indeed that 🤣😩😭

Ask them to explain it & see their demeanor. Their true intentions will say everything. Do they like you?! Are they known to be humorous?!

Maybe, it’s just light hearted fun but, it’s all love. 🤷🏾‍♀️🤷🏾‍♀️🤷🏾‍♀️🤷🏾‍♀️ Idk.. It’s all about intention & the relationship yall have.

[u/Itscameronman]

Depends on intent

[u/Equivalent-Advice593]

Perhaps you are a train wreck in a sense that you cannot take a bad joke without dwelling on it for a long time YOR

[u/nick422742]

Total overreaction, it’s a joke not a dick don’t take it so hard. Don’t like the shirt? Don’t wear it who cares? You sound extremely insecure about yourself if you can’t take a simple joke and need to list all your accolades as to why you’re not a train wreck, just smile, laugh, say thank you and move on like it never happened, a GIFT should never make you mad at people for spending money on you, get over yourself

[u/Virtual-Bonus4550 → u/nick422742]

And like a dick, there's a time and a place where it's acceptable to whip it out. This doesn't qualify. It's an unsolicited dick move.

[u/Lonely-Ad4209 → u/Virtual-Bonus4550]

You must be fun

[u/KappaKapperino → u/nick422742]

But what’s the point behind the gift? Obviously there are hints on her being messy or whatever, why would you ever joke around with that? Such a terrible gift.

[u/nick422742 → u/KappaKapperino]

Once again, if you’re that upset over a tshirt saying you’re train wreck then it sounds like you’re extremely insecure about it. It’s a gag gift, considering that she’s graduated college and has a degree everyone is aware that you’re not a huge train wreck unless you’re just with millionaires who see you as lesser because you don’t have a “real job” in which case why even care what they think? Reading into this so much is ridiculous, buying gifts for people you don’t know that well outside of short meetings can be quite difficult. Regardless I think this person just doesn’t like her partners family and will find any reason to be offended at what they say and do because they don’t want to be around them. It’s a shirt not an indictment on your lifestyle

[u/ProperSus → u/nick422742]

lmfao this fucking guy

[u/Wooden_Concert_4237]

NOR. I they think its a funny joke- ask them to explain it. Not a joke when everyone isnt laughing.

[u/Grand_Ocean]

D9 you have any interest in/connection to trains? if not, a gift chosen specifically to insult you.

myself, I’d consider this “game on” with insulting gifts.

[u/lagunamk]

Overreacting, older people love self deprecating humor/ think everyone else does too

[u/ExistentialForge → u/lagunamk]

It’s self deprecating when someone makes it on themself. By gifting it to another person, much less the person your son is in relationship with - where often the relationships are tricky, it’s no longer a self deprecating joke, but an insult. It also implies that they’d been watching her closely and judging her for every minor acts of failure. There’s no way someone that loves you and has no intention of hurting you would give this to another as a Xmas gift. I’d be curious to know if they gave their son something similar. My guess is no, because so many older folks casually let their sexism dictate how respectful they are to their precious son’s partners.

[u/nachocat69]

Where did they get it? I want one for my wife

[u/MissGrouchyShorts → u/nachocat69]

available for purchase here

[u/noisy_noivern]

YOR. Yikes

[u/oishster]

NOR, and very confused why so many comments seem to think this is normal to get from in-laws/bf’s parents. This is the sort of shirt you get from a good friend you have an inside joke with, not your bf’s parents. Maybe ask your bf if there’s some sort of backstory or reason why they got this for you?

And not sure why people in this thread who say you’re overreacting seem to think that proves the point of the shirt - even if you were overreacting, that’s got nothing to do with being a trainwreck?

OP literally just means she’s not a trainwreck by typical standards and listed 3 milestones she’s met as proof, and Reddit’s acting like she spent paragraphs bragging…

You can’t just make terms mean things they don’t mean. A trainwreck is not the same thing as a person who gets easily offended, and OP is neither.

[u/AAmallard]

YOR (I’m a xennial though and we def overdo this type of humor.) 

[u/eriksaxguy]

YOR Its a shirt don't overthink it seriously.

[u/kitkatgirl08]

Not overreacting, regift this to one of them next year

[u/jvzhnl → u/kitkatgirl08]

and they will probably laugh 🤣🤣

[u/EveningWinter7202]

This is so weird to receive from your bfs parents. If it was a friend or something, maybe, but if this was all you received, I think it’s a bit passive aggressive, at minimum.

And regardless, it doesn’t matter what anyone thinks because it hurt YOUR feelings, and your feelings matter.

[u/AdSquare6055]

If this seriously made you question ur entire life because OLD people gave you a funny little shirt with no harm behind it than u definitely are a trainwreck, for context giftcards from 2000-2013 used to be always talking smack like this shirt and it was just harmless fun. They probably bought it at walmart thought “haha yea she would like it”. The fact that it made you feel the need to list every single accomplishment in ur life to strangers for validation tells you that you are very insecure and it only takes one minor thing to set you off - I.E “A trainwreck”

[u/cw30755 → u/AdSquare6055]

Yeah, the post in itself kind of proves the point.

[u/AdSquare6055 → u/cw30755]

I hope their man sees this 😂 i think his parents just saved him the massive headache when she finally blows up in his face

[u/Cursedbeann]

NOR, Passive-aggressive people want the relief of expressing pretty hostility without the responsibility of owning it; they provoke quietly, then resent any consequence as if they were innocent. That’s a joke a sibling can do, you, yourself can do, and even if there was not enough context, it’s under no circumstance their place to be saying something like that, understandably, It could make you sad. Sending hugs 🫂

[u/Altruistic-Editor942]

Not overreacting.

I can’t stand it when someone makes a joke that’s really just a put down. It’s not funny and says a lot about how they actually feel about you.

You have nothing to prove, they just have bad taste in humor and clothes.

Throw that thing in the trash where it belongs and don’t stoop to their level.

[u/ExistentialForge]

There’s no correlation between being “a train wreck” and not enjoying a passive-aggressive gift. That’s just people trying to excuse bad behavior as humor. I can think of a few people in my life that seem to have a knack for hurtful jibes for no reason. Your in laws, unfortunately, sound vile. But, if this is the first time this has happened, I’d give it a pass. If I were you, I’d lean into the joke and give them something equally “funny”… like a card that implies that they’re nosy or overstep boundaries, and make sure they know I use the shirt as a rag or gift it back to them.

[u/slugsbian]

Depends I have a not good relationship with my PIL and they know it, so this would have been a bit ehhh but I am a train wreck which we all know so I wouldn’t be mad I’d laugh lol.

[u/bxxbxxkitty]

I'd wear it everytime I saw them and make little train toot toot sounds and honestly just own it. It might score you points if they think you are funny. Or annoy them if it was meant to be rude. Win win. Lol

[u/kikicandraw]

YOR. This is common millennial humor.

[u/Somber_Resplendence]

YOR. Obviously, if you have your shit together, then it’s meant as a joke.

I also own a home, and I am college graduate. I am married, make good money, have kids, etc etc, but I can be a bit disorganized and distractible (thanks, ADHD). If my in-laws gave me this shirt I would think it was hysterical, cuz I’ll be the first one to say I can be a little bit of a fun train wreck (whilst still having all my poop in a group).

I see it one of two ways: you either have all your ducks in a row (on paper) but you still have a goofy side to you—meaning this shirt applies, or you’re a super straitlaced and serious person, in which case this is humorous sarcasm.

If you think this was malicious and meant to hurt you, then fuck them. But I think you just need to lighten up a bit.

Also, did you actually say to their faces that their gift offended you? Wow.

[u/anicnarf2922]

NOR unless English is not their first language or if you go out and party with them. I don’t find it funny at all. You give this to a close party friend not a girlfriend of your son. Of course you would read into it. I can’t believe so many people are saying YOR. You are not. Sorry you got this stupid present.

[u/RiggsFTW]

I mean... What's your relationship like with them? You guys get along? Like each other? Joke with each other? Is this the sole present they gave you?

[u/nootgan]

YOR for sure honestly it’s just a fun shirt. They probably weren’t thinking that hard about it

[u/Independent-Wheel354]

YOR- I’d suggest that, if a shirt can get you this upset, there might be a bit of truth in it.

[u/Crafty-Evidence2971]

It could be the new regift every year shirt. If you get the shirt wear it with pride. Take the year off from going above and beyond, manage expectations. This is my year to be a train wreck! Next year gift it to someone else who could use a break from doing all the emotional labor for the family.

[u/lemonverbenahandsoap]

i don’t think you’re overreacting, NOR. idk why so many people say you are, if you found it hurtful then it is

[u/calste → u/lemonverbenahandsoap]

It's healthy to assess why something has upset you and evaluate the reasons behind your response. Closing yourself off and saying "only my feelings matter" is a somewhat narcissistic mindset that will only lead to further conflict.

[u/lemonverbenahandsoap → u/calste]

i don’t think being hurt over this is being narcissistic

[u/calste → u/lemonverbenahandsoap]

I didn't say it was.

[u/Abystract-ism]

Malicious compliance -wear it over EVERY DAMN time. Then pass it along next year because YOU got your sh*t together and “it’s so and so’s year to be the train wreck”.

[u/Iamstarstuff1972 → u/Abystract-ism]

NOR- Especially something that THEY would want you dressed up for!!

[u/The_Dodgy_Doge]

I would wear the shit out of that shirt

[u/2cats2hats]

Are his folks humourous? If so, move on.

[u/Careless-Sweet9639]

YOR. Im sorry, all of the people in this comment section are either paranoid or must have had some terrible experiences with their in-laws. Gifting a $10 Spencer’s shirt as a gag gift was clearly intended to be light-hearted. I doubt they think you’re a “train-wreck”, but the clarification you added at the end of your post about how you seem to “have your life together” just shows that you’re either an over-thinker or anxious person. Regardless of their intentions, I find it hilarious you are offended by a holiday self-deprecation shirt 🤣

[u/kronikheadband]

Super over reacting.  Is that you on the shirt?  None of what you said has anything to do with being a "Trainwreck"... So you might still be one.. Also it's called sarcasm, it's a new thing so you may not get it yet..

They're were giving you a joke and you ruined it. Just laugh it off and keep life moving.